Last night, a friend and I combined a trashcan (with wheels on the base), a skateboard, a jump rope, and a bike to engineer a personnel transport.

Quite effective, apart from being unable to make sharp turns without the passenger going into a roll.

But what if terrorists got ahold of a Trashcan Personnel Transport? Acquiring a vehicle and license provides much too much overhead to a modern Al Qaeda operative in terms of financial expenditures and exposure. However, a TPT gives a cheap and effective way to move large quantities of explosives inconspicuously.

Fortunately, we have discovered an intrinsic weakness in the system. Young girls riding bicycles can crash into the device and render it temporarily inoperable.

That is why I suggest the deployment of a massive task force of girls on bicycles to thwart a possible terrorist TPT attack. The Department of Homeland Security would be encharged with training thousands in identifying and intercepting TPT attacks as well as on proper bicycle ramming techniques.

Remember, when it comes to defending our nation against terrorists, little girls are our last line of defense.