Myths and Facts about Jimmy Carter

Myth: Jimmy Carter once bravely fought off a rabbid rabbit with a canoe pattle.
Fact: The only reason Carter survived the encounter is because the rabbit determined him to be weak and a dishonorable kill.

Myth: Carter was responsible for a massive national energy crisis.
Fact: When accused, Carter blamed the crisis on his pet cat, Binky.

Myth: Jimmy Carter onced served as an engineer on a nuclear submarine.
Fact: Though, for administrative reasons, that was what was listed in the payroll, his actual job was "Emergency Anchor."

Myth: Jimmy Carter rose from poverty to riches by growing peanuts.
Fact: Peanuts aren't worth diddly; he obviously was some kind of drug lord.

Myth: Carter was a lame appeasenik whose unwillingness to act aggressively resulted in a lengthy hostage crisis.
Fact: He was also an easy-hit for lunch money.

Myth: The U.S. Jimmy Carter was named after the 39th president of the United States.
Fact: The U.S. Jimmy Carter was named after Masked Jim, a largely forgotten hero of the American West, most notable for his heroic confrontation of a Big Jack, a large jackrabbit that had been getting into Mrs. Beasly's cabbage garden.