As you may know, the Supreme Court has ruled that the government can take from you whatever they want as long as they claim it's to the public's benefit.
If I were president, Justice Ginsburg and I would be having the following conversation right now, as he had just entered his bathroom:
Ginsburg: AHHH!!! Mr. President!
Me: AHHH! Mr. Ginsburg!
Ginsburg: What are you doing!?
Me: Using your toothbrush.
Ginsburg: I didn't give you permission to use my toothbrush!
Me: Stopping tooth decay is in the public interest. So I signed an executive order to seize your dental hygienic products for communal use.
Ginsburg: But you're in my bathrobe!
Me: Correction, this bathrobe is the property of the United States of America. It protects the American people from indecent and unsightly viewings of their President.
Ginsburg: This is insane. These are my things. What are you going to take next, the sofa in the living room?
Me: The orange one? No, no, that clashes with the drapes in the oval office. I had no choice but to throw it away. I did eminent domain your patio furniture, however. The deck chairs were very nice.
Ginsburg: That's it! Get out of my house!
Me: I'm technically supposed to stay here until the demolition crew arrives.
Ginsburg: You can't be serious.
Me: The only thing I'm serious about is being the first to use this new congressional bowling alley. Very nice scenery around here, too.
Ginsburg: You're not going to get away with this! I'm taking this to the press! I hope you realize I'm entitled to due compensation!
Me: Oh, yes, of course. We had a realtor come give us and estimate and we deposited the cash value of your property to your safe deposit box.
Ginsburg: How much?
Me: $3 million.
Ginsburg: WOOOHOOO!!! I'M RICH! Wait, how did you get into my safe deposit box?
Me: It's more of a presidential foot locker now. Keeps people from stealing my running shoes. I had to ditch the sack to get them to fit though.
Ginsburg: What sack?
Me: The one that looked like a bank bag with a U.S. treasury seal on it.
Me: Hey, you wanna come over to Justice Steven's later? Me and the Whitehouse staff are throwing a pool party! The guys are already over there flooding the basement. Should be ready by the time we get there.
- earth day
- green toilet
- harsh realities
- interior decorating
- white people