Duh News!

As an effort at inter-faith outreach, I bring you insight from glorious Kman on Islamic astrophysics:

Tabari I:244 ?Allah then created for the sun a chariot with 360 handholds from the luminosity of the light of the Throne and entrusted 360 of the angels inhabiting the lower heaven with the sun and its chariot, each of them gripping one of those handholds. Allah also entrusted 360 angels with the moon.?

THIS SHOWS THAT EARTH DOES NOT MOVE AROUND SUN, BUT SUN AROUND EARTH AND IT IS PULLED BY CHARIOTS!!

Tabari I:232 ?Gabriel brings to the sun a garment of luminosity from the light of Allah?s Throne according to the measure of the hours of the day. The garment is longer in the summer and shorter in the winter, and of intermediate length in autumn and spring. The sun puts on that garment as one of you here puts on his clothes.?

THIS SHOWS THAT SEASONS ARE NOT MADE FROM THE EARTH'S AXIAL TILT, BUT FROM CLOTHING THE SUN WEARS.

Qur?an 18:83 ?They ask you about Dhu?l-Qarnain [Alexander the Great]. Say, ?I will cite something of his story. We gave him authority in the land and means of accomplishing his goals. So he followed a path until he reached the setting place of the sun. He saw that it set in black, muddy, hot water. Near it he found people.?

THIS SHOWS THAT SUN DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND EARTH, BUT IT FALLS TO THE EARTH AT NIGHT INTO A MUDDY SWAMP WHERE IT IS PUT OUT!

Bukhari:V4B54N421 ?I walked hand in hand with the Prophet when the sun was about to set. We did not stop looking at it. The Prophet asked, ?Do you know where the sun goes at sunset?? I replied, ?Allah and His Apostle know better.? He said, ?It travels until it falls down and prostrates Itself underneath the Throne.

THIS SHOWS THAT SUN GOES TO ALLAHS THRONE AT NIGHT. BUT EARLIER IT WAS SHOWN THAT IT GOES TO A MUDDY SWAMP! ALLAH LIVES IN A SWAMP!!!!!

There. That should make the multiculturalists happy.

Finally, I had an amusing dream last night. Amusing enough that each of the five times my alarm awoke me, I went back to sleep so that I could resume the story line. It was another one of my aliens invading dreams... they were having some kind of a convention two and a half hours south of me under the auspices of an anti-alien convention. But I knew what was up. I also knew that they had already extensively infiltrated the local populous, so I was on my own. I wore my "Llama Management" shirt to make myself look official. Also, on the way over, I ran into two guys with big mustaches that looked alike. I figured they were alien clones, but when I got closer I realized one of them was a girl. They went up to someone's door, knocked, and the she asked "Is your... is your..." *giggle* "is your email running?" I think they must have tossed their beverage on her or something because she threatened revenge. I'm not sure how the alien thing turned out, although as usual I had worked out the perfect plan to defeat them. But in the end we watched Winnie the Pooh at the tennis courts, so it was all good.

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