In the realm of directory defense, I guess someone was traversing my files directory out of curiousity and stumbled across my English paper. Then they stopped. Well, no need to password protect directories if I can just bore the curious out of their minds! :D
Also, less and less people are mistaking my re-write of Hamlet for the real deal. Student essay grades on Shakespeare around the country are increasing drastically.
Hey, I wonder why Shakespeare never did any reality-based shows? OH YES BECAUSE THEY SUCK.
Imagine an on stage performance of big brother. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to have five contestants--yes real everyday people--try to coexist right here on stage in front of your very eyes! They will not be allowed to leave! Oh, the humanity!"
That is about when everyone in the theater would be politely excusing themselves to go fetch torches and pitchforks--the ever-valuable negotiating tools--to help them successfully secure a proper refund of their tickets and the running out of town of the worst stage act they'd ever been subjected to.
But turn that into an hour long special on your TV and suddenly a bunch of lame people confined to the same general vicinity becomes top-tier viewing material! What gives? What is so interesting about this? Is it the furnishings? The bathroom? The amazing box that they put stuff in that comes out cooked a few minutes later?
Guess what!? You have all of these things too! Slowly rotate your head clockwise/counterclockwise until the glowing screen is no longer visible. This is your house. It has all sorts of things in it just like on tv! It might even have people in it!
If it doesn't have people in it, you can find some! Look for a door that goes to a place with no incandescent /flourescent lighting. If you've paid your electric bill, this is the outside. There are people here. You've probably seen people interacting with each other on the tv. Here, not only can you watch them interact, you can interact with them yourself! Really like those heated arguments on big brother? Walk up to any female and tell her she is fat! Instant initiation of verbal hostility!
Television is the worst monstrousity to ever afflict mankind.
On that note, the next time I actually have a television, I'm watching Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo until I go insane. (note setting of reasonable, short periods before viewing in order to avoid developing addiction) It is the greatest show ever.
- earth day
- green toilet
- harsh realities
- interior decorating
- white people