I have sent 5 men to kill you

Mr. Nipples

Mr. Nipples is a veteran contract killer who likes to strangle his victims in olympic size swimming pools, half-size pools, kiddie-pools, public fountains, and in the shower. Frequent bathers are frequent corpses.

The Republican Guard

Well-paid and well-educated. This is what Death would look like if Death wore a suit and listened to Rush Limbaugh in the morning.

Chinese Guy With A Little Gun

Impossible to spot in crowded areas. Knows Kung Fu.

Arabian Ninjas

Like Japanese ninjas only with less human rights, the Arabian Ninjas are the perfect hybrid of deadly assassin and discount curtains.

Hitler Reincarnated

A pint-sized bundle of pure evil, and he is pissed about losing the mustache.

You are now faced with nigh-certain death. Your only hope is to hire your own hitmen to take me out first. Too bad I already hired the top assassins.