I have sent 5 men to kill you
Mr. Nipples
Mr. Nipples is a veteran contract killer who likes to strangle his victims in olympic size swimming pools, half-size pools, kiddie-pools, public fountains, and in the shower. Frequent bathers are frequent corpses.
The Republican Guard
Well-paid and well-educated. This is what Death would look like if Death wore a suit and listened to Rush Limbaugh in the morning.
Chinese Guy With A Little Gun
Impossible to spot in crowded areas. Knows Kung Fu.
Arabian Ninjas
Like Japanese ninjas only with less human rights, the Arabian Ninjas are the perfect hybrid of deadly assassin and discount curtains.
Hitler Reincarnated
A pint-sized bundle of pure evil, and he is pissed about losing the mustache.
You are now faced with nigh-certain death. Your only hope is to hire your own hitmen to take me out first. Too bad I already hired the top assassins.
- Miss Taken
- On Modern Romance
- SHARK WEEK!
- Throwing Axe
- I have found my calling: the manufacture of ghetto medical equipment
- Earth day!
- So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.
- The boy who did not fit
- Beginnings of the Naval Wonder
- Apparently starship engineers do not watch "Trading Spaces."
- Harsh Realities #4
- If you were wondering what to get me for Christmas, wonder no more.
- This is what I think happened to Walt Disney
- Introducing... MY CATS.
- amputation
- bands
- bellybuttons
- biblestories
- cartoons
- cats
- cheese
- diy
- doom
- earth
- earth day
- engineering
- environment
- evil
- ewe
- ghetto
- goat
- green toilet
- gross
- harsh realities
- insects
- interior decorating
- lists
- mafia
- mccain
- monkeys
- music
- obama
- poetry
- politics
- prank
- pvc
- quotes
- selectivegrowthspurts
- shortstory
- starwars
- superhero
- terrorists
- white people
- williamcarloswilliams
- yuck
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