I'm a guy, and because I'm a guy, I do things. Not necessarily good things. Not necessarily smart things. But definitely... things.

So it will come as no surprise to you that, while less adventurous than I might have liked it to be, my recent excursion with the NMT caving grotto had a few highlights to it.

The first was peeling out, twice, in front of a dozen cops, at a DUI checkpoint.

It happened something like this:

"Hey officer."
"Hello. May I see your license and registration please."
"Why, certainly, I--
*VROOOOOOOOMMM!*
*SCREEEEEEECHHHH!!!*
*VROOOOOOOOOOOMMM!*
*SCREEEEEEEEEEECHHHH!!!*
"WHAT THE H***!?"

May I just remark that the looks on the cops' faces--to say nothing of my passengers--were exceedingly priceless. :)

In the chat I had with the nice officers afterward, I explained that I had neglected to put the car in park, hit the pedal in stretching to pull out my wallet, and then, in the subsequent drama, became confused about the pedals. It was funny because in course of that conversation they didn't even bother to ask me if I had been drinking, or if they could search the vehicle. They just ran my numbers. Apparently, peeling out in front of cops at a DUI checkpoint is a pretty good way to convince them that you could not possibly be anything but sober.

Oh, and I literally came within an inch--an INCH!--of smashing into the Jeep in front of me (also with the NMT grotto). Their expressions of horror were at least as enjoyable as those of the cops. :D

My spaceyness continued to have a prominent effect on the adventure, resulting in being lost at least four times, and in one of those cases, accidentally detouring to the great state of Texas.

I also procured a manual to one of those three line message signs (soon to be put to good use), nearly tripled the speed limit on a completely justifiable strip of road, went bowling, had the manager at Denny's threaten to call the cops on me (I was innocent, I swear!), ate cheesecake, learned about the excellent band "DeVotchKa," surprisingly did not roll my vehicle, and team-drove down a windy mountain pass whilst eating tuna.

It was good tuna.