Viva le revolutione!

There are a lot of disenchanted people out there clamoring for a change in the two party system. These include greens, libertarians, and even some people who don't claim to have been abducted by aliens and implanted with government microchips. People such as myself.

Modern politics is, unfortunately, very political. It's all about politicians politicking their policies, pundits pontificating punditry, partisans parroting the party perspective, polemics pretentiously prevaricating persuasive propositions of profoundly preposterous poppycock... My point, as it were, is that whenever you have that much 'p' in one place, it's about time for a flush.

So let's forget about trying to "fix" things. There is little to no hope of making the republicans completely conservative, the democrats completely liberal, or the greens completely potty trained. We need to scrap the parties and start over, creating a culturally rooted system of natural antagonism and balance that will not lend itself to euphemism and affectation.

In short: Ninjas vs. Pirates.

It's quite logical when you consider the two principal functions of government:
1. Kill people who need to be killed. (ninja skills)
2. Collect monies from the people. (piracy)

Obviously, some changes will have to be made. For example, it's a bit unfair to have a Talk Like A Pirate Day, yet not an Assassinate Like a Ninja Day. But the advantages are numerous. No more party platforms (except the kind you walk blindfolded with your hands tied), no more wondering which candidate is being dishonest (probably the pirate), and no more income tax (unless your company's payroll is shipped on the high seas).

I also think, in light of things, it might make sense to replace the Supreme Court with a table of knights, or, alternatively, a ham sandwich.