Well, I had a busy break, full of harassing school children for my education class and various other non-breakish things. Now I'm back and still have much work to do!

Lately, the Republicans have been spamming me with pleas for money... at both my Socorro and Albuquerque addresses. Yesterday, I got a fun credit card:

You see, that's why I'm a Republican. We're the party of moral values, national security, and nifty free stuff in the mail.

I don't think I'm going to be getting any more free stuff though because on another business reply letter requesting donations I wrote "4 trillion dollars" in the "Money Enclosed" box and on the back I wrote that I would send a donation and a vote when they slash spending. (This is why it doesn't pay to piss off your base.)

But it's too late for them to revoke my Platinum Republicard, and I think that I am going to be living large indeed.

Features of my card:

  • Specially made plastic refined from stolen Iraqi oil
  • You can spend as much as you want as long a bunch of people the money doesn't belong to approve.
  • If you exceed your debt limit, you just raise it so you can spend more.
  • If you run out of money completely, you just print more.
  • You can use it to open bathroom doors.
  • You can fling it at people.
  • Can be used as a get out of jail free card with the Department of Homeland security.
  • Proves to all who inquire that you are not some pansy terrorist-hugging Democrat.
  • Laced with a special toxin which kills off endangered species.