Stupid Hobbits

I think there's a nest of hobbits living under my dorm. They're always making noise and singing songs and leaving hairy little footprints everywhere. The worst thing about them is that they tend to attract Riders of Nazgul. If one more shadowy magically-enslaved undead king comes knocking at my door at 4 am in the morning hissing at me about some stupid shire, I am either going to run him through with a steel pipe or make him listen to this for an hour.

Seriously, I'm going to Walmart write now to get some hobbit spray. Stupid fat hobbitses.