Osama bin Pappy

"Psst! Get down!"
"I said--"
Osama bin Laden was thrown to the ground as the detonation of a nearby missile rocked the cave and caused debris to rain down from the ceiling.
"I just cleaned!" Osama shouted angrily.
Muhammed Ali-habbi-Q'pabbi scrambled for the broom.
"Those pestilent Americans! They will be crushed! Crushed I say! They will be annihilated by our superior er, uh, um, technology! Yes, once my smart bombs are put into operation we will--hey, cut it out Seymoure."
Seymoure the camel licked Osama's face and purred.
"Ahh... Seymoure..." Osama scratched Seymoure under the chin.
"Yes, once my smart bombs are functional, the Americans will cower in terror! Say, Ali, how is that coming by the way?"
"Not so good, Osama! As soon as we teach the suicide bombers to be smart, they don't want to blow themselves up anymore!"
"Drat! I must think harder. If only I had some peace and--" Osama was thrown to the ground by another explosion.
"Camel spit! I can't work like this. Ali, we need to go somewhere the Americans will never think to look for us. Somewhere where they won't bomb us. Somewhere they wouldn't ever anticipate us being..."
"Outer space?"
"No, you idiot! Guatanomo Bay!"

Presenting... for your reading pleasure...

Osama bin Pappy

New York.

"Get the **** out the way you ******!"
"Move it fella!"
"What the **** do you think you're doing?"
Osama indignantly manuevered Seymoure through the traffic. Downtown New York was no place for camels.
They were on their way to Guantanomo Bay, the ultimate hiding place, where no one would ever expect to find him. But first, Osama needed to find some terrorism supplies. He had brought plenty with him, but the airlines had lost his luggage. Typical American infidels.....
Seymoure the camel didn't like being called names. He spat at the cab drivers. The cab drivers spat back.
Osama stuck out his arm to signal a left turn and headed down Main. They were looking for Mean Harold's Pub, the meanest, baddest, most vilest place in all of New York. Well, maybe after the United Nations headquarters.
"Hey! Hey, you!"
Osama did not look. He was wearing dark sunglasses, no one could possibly know who he was.
"Hey, you! Don't I know you from somewhere?"

To be continued. . .