Be sure to read PART 1 first.

* * *
"And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?"
"I want a mandate!" Bush yelled.
"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!"
Bush jumped off Santa's lap in delight. He was followed by a group of men in green tights. Bush's absolute favorite part of Christmas was making his secret service agents dress up as elves.
"What do you want for Christmas, little boy?"
"A bionic heart that will give me the strength to rip apart hippies limb from limb!"
"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!"
Dick Cheney smugly followed Bush. Once he had his bionic heart, that would be last time anybody crated him off to some undisclosed location!
"Ho ho ho! My last customer! What would you like for Christmas?"
"The ultimate suicide bomber belt!"
"Ho ho ho, aren't you on the naughty list?"
"Nope, squeaked by this year. Go ahead and check."
The santa pulled out his P.D.A. and downloaded an updated naughty and nice list from the central santa metaserver.
"Ho ho ho, it seems you're right! Merry Christmas!"
Osama bin Laden gleefully hopped off Santa's lap and headed for the exit. This would be the greatest infidel American Christmas ever!
On his way back to the parked cab, he overheard someone talking in a terrace above him.
"And that's how we'll destroy Santa!"
Osama stopped. He put his ear to the wall and listened carefully.
"Noooooo!!! It can't be!"
Osama bin Laden ran as fast as he could.
"Osama bin Pappy! Osama bin Pappy! Osama bin Pappy! I have terrible news! An infidel American called "Johnny" is planning to destroy Santa! We must save him!"
Osama bin Pappy jumped out of his cab.
"There is no time to waste. Take Seymour! We shall stop this Johnny infidel at all costs!"

* * *

"Johnny, there are some strange men at the door asking for you."
"Do they have beards and funny hats?"
"Yes."
"Santa spies! They must be destroyed before they inform Santa of my plans. Unleash the SOFA OF DOOOOOM!!!"

* * *

"Hmm, what do you think is taking so long."
"I don't know, Osama bin Son. Wait, the door is opening. Get ready."
The door creaked open and suddenly, "WHAM!" Osama bin Laden, bin Pappy, and Seymour the camel were blasted across the street by a high-velocity sofa.

* * *

Later, at the hospital.

"You didn't tell me that he had a sofa defense system."
"I didn't know. How are we going to get in there? It's like a fortress. We can't go possibly go up against... sofas."
"There must be another way. What if, what if we went down the chimney?"
"Perfect, no one would ever suspect the chimney!"

* * *

"Ha ha ha! When Santa comes down our chimney, he will be laser fodder!"
Johnny threw a cookie into the fireplace. It was immediately disintegrated by the high-intensity laser blasts."
"Ho ho ho, Santa Claus! Tonight, you will finally meet your doom!"
"But Johnny, what if Santa is really a nice guy!?"
"Don't be silly, Sarah. Nice guys don't have facial hair. Look at Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Castro, Saddam, Janet Reno. They all have some kind of facial hair. It is the trademark of evil."
"What about Abraham Lincoln."
"He wore a top hat. That was different. Santa has no top hat."
"Alright, Johnny, if you say so."

* * *

Later that night

"Shhh! Don't wake him up!"
Osama bin Ladin gazed down from the roof at the ground below. Heights made him woozy.
"It's alright. With this bright red camoflauge, no one will see us. Hey, cut it out Seymour!"
Seymour the camel was shining his light in their eyes. They had strapped a flashlight to his nose so that they could see. Seymour was hauling a cart packed with many terrorist things.
"Now, this is the plan: we drop down the chimney and leave these colorfully decorated explosive charges somewhere they won't be seen. Maybe under a plant. Then we climb back up the chimney and detonate the explosives, sending little Johnny sky high and saving Santa. Ready?"
"Let's go!"

* * *

"Johnny!" Sarah cried, "There are people on the roof! And they have some kind of animal with them!"
"Does it have hooves?"
"Sure sounds like it!"
"Quick! Arm the laser defense!"

* * *

"AH! HOT! LASERS! NO! BURNING! LASERS! AH! LASERS! LASERS! AH! HELP! AHHHH!!!"
Two smoldering terrorists ran screaming from little Johnny's house and were suddenly impaled by a large projectile sofa.

"Ho ho ho! Take that, Santa! Ha, hahaha, he he heee haha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
"FOOM!"
"Hey Johnny?"
"What?"
"Somebody else just exploded in our chimney?"
"Another Santa? No, matter! We have save Christmas Sarah! We have destroyed Santa Clause! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!"