Bin Laden and bin Pappy surfaced, gasping for breath. The captain of the U.S.S. Jimmy Carter followed shortly thereafter.
"Well... *gasp*... she was a beautiful ship boys, but at least we didn't aggressively act to defend ourselves."
"Dang, I wish Carter was still president," bin Laden sighed.
"So what now?" bin Pappy asked.
"Let's return and carry on our way. We will never be able to get ahold of that miscreant sponge for as long as he's guarded by aquatic rabbits."

* * *

"I'm telling you Cheney! He's real! He's here! I saw him!"
Bush and Cheney were walking the streets of New York. Bush had a hot dog in one hand, and a fistful of angry Republican rage in the other. Cheney was eating Chinese food.
"Is the vice-president under any obligation to believe the president's nutball theories?"
Bush contemplated for a moment.
"Yes."
"Fine then," Cheney sighed.
"What' your plan for finding him?"
"I figure if he sees us, he'll either run away or try to kill us. We just keep searching and look for people who run away or try to kill us."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But you're president. So whatever."Bush and Cheney continued onward.

Eventually, they turned down a dark side street. Cheney nervously looked behind him.
"What the matter?" Bush asked.
"Nothing, nothing." Cheny replied.
They both started at a noise and turned, but there was nothing there. When they turned back around a dark figure stood in their path.
"YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE COME THIS WAY."
"What?"
"YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE COME THIS WAY."
Slowly, the figure pulled back it's hood. Bush and Cheney gasped.
"Dean!"
"That's right!" Dean laughed maniacally, "It's meee! Sent on an evil mission from the DNC to destroy you both!!! YEARGHHH!"
"Wow. That's great! How ya doin', buddy? It's been a long time!" Bush exclaimed.
"Come give me a hug, you old coot!" Cheney grinned.
"So, how are the kids?"
"Oh, fine, fine." Dean smiled. "One of them's down with the flu. Caught it from me, actually. I was feeling pretty sick last week."
"That's too bad." Bush said. "How are things down at the DNC?"
"Oh, just amazing! They keep asking me, 'Tell me, Dean, how can we make our party great?' And I tell 'em, boy do I tell 'em! 'Veer leftward! Fight traditional values! Oppose everything!' Then I scream and foam at the mouth a bit. It's great fun, and they buy it every time! Last week, I smashed the secretary's desk with a sledgehammer. They gave me an embroidered certificate for being passionate."
"Sounds like fun. What's this about being on a mission to destroy us?"
"Oh, Soros is on the warpath again. He wants me to teach you a lesson for messing with John Kerry."
"Who?"
"Not really important. But I'd appreciate it if you'd be willing to stage some photos getting beat up. I figure I'll tell Soros that I got you to confess to evil ties with Halliburton or something and my cover will be good for another few months."
"No problem, buddy!"
"Say..." Bush trailed thoughtfully, "Do you suppose you could help us track somebody down?"