So, there I was in a complex with a large central hall going all the way around. There were lots of people meandering about. Being the silly goof ball that I am, and feeling very energetic, I started running around the building clockwise with my arms extended in immitation of an airplane. About half way around I encountered another invididual running counterclockwise.
"Hey, let's run really fast, and then we can fly!" I said. (I think it's at about 2000miles/second at the earth's surface that you're moving fast enough to be in freefall, like the space shuttle is at its higher altitude).
I ran as fast as I could, but somewhere around the second turn people started trying to grab me. Specifically, old people. Even more specifically, old people zombies.
Since I had all this momentum from running I figured I would take at least one of them out by jump-kicking him, but he caught hold of me. Old people zombies are STRONG! I only barely got away and was running for my life.
Unfortunately, the old people zombies had entered into some bargain with my roommate (who is incredibly sadistic) to capture me for them. I made it to the lower roof when he caught me, but he was distracted for a second and I jumped for it.
I immediately ran for the local neighborhoods. Though I had big head start, my roommate had a car, so my only hope was to get lost in the local facilities somewhere.
I hopped through a couple neighborhoods and started running down a long dirt road. To my surprise, at something a little like an oasis, I ran into a llama--no, three llamas--drinking water!
At this point, I was thinking "Oh crap, my roommate knows I'm obsessed with llamas, if he sees them this will be the first place he looks."
But there were no neighborhoods nearby so I just ran in overdrive, desperately looking for cover.
However, about fifty feet away I ran into some giraffes. What the heck are giraffes and llamas doing out in the middle of nowhere? Unless. . . at that moment, I came to a sudden stop teetering over a precipice. Below, a two-hundred feet drop to the polar bears.
I was in some kind of pseudo free-range zoo. Exactly where my roommate and the old people zombies would expect me to be.
Well, knowing my options, it was a pretty easy choice. I jumped over the edge and plummeted into the polar bear pit.
Then, I woke up.
So, uh, can anyone interpret this for me? What does it mean? All I know is, you old people better be careful. I'm going to be watching you, so don't even think about turning into zombies.
- earth day
- green toilet
- harsh realities
- interior decorating
- white people