Back to school

Ah, school. . . the gay giggle of girls as they go to class, the typity-type-type of Techies socializing with one another, and the gentle "*WHOOSH!* *THUD!* *GROAN!*" of freshmen dropping like flies as kickballs deform into pancakes against the side of their skulls.

Yes, dodgeball is as much a craze as ever. The last game I went to, every single person I ran into on the way to the gym was talking about it. The last hundred feet of my trek to the sacred grounds were serenated with a cacaphony of primal yells all around campus, a resounding bellow of "DOOOOODGEBALLLLLLL! "

I could feel the cry awaken ancient urges. Instincts which at one time had enabled my ancestors to survive much more ruthless games of "dodgerock," and thus earn the right to genetic continuance.

Fortunately, dodgeball is quite a bit more inviting than it was in ancient times, or even my freshmen year. It used to be that everyone was just out to murder you at the first available opportunity with a flurry of ballistically accelerated rubber doom. Now the players are a lot more friendly both to new comers and to each other. (I'm not saying they try not to hurt you, of course. I'm just saying that before they hurt you, they are quite friendly about it.)

Another fun game to play is dodge racquetball. The ingredients are as many guys as possible, one hard rubber projectile, bludgeoning implements, and an extremely confined space. And that's it; the rules can be whatever you collectively decide, but frankly speaking, they are not important. The reason they are not important is because no matter what the rules are, the goal of the game is always to hit the ball as hard as you can and hopefully be one of the bless?d few to escape injury.

I won't go into details about the variant which involves bottlerockets. Afterall, there may be females on the internet (or who at least claim to be female) and in general it's probably a good idea for me to only discredit my gender's capacity for sensibleness so much in a single post. It's really not our fault. We get hit in the head a lot.