Join my gang!

Do you need friends, protection, mentors, a felonious deputization into a life of crime? Then join my gang!

Things we will need

1. A name.
2. Symbols and handsigns.
3. Colors.
4. Spraypaint.
5. Weapons.

Everyone who wants in is also going to have to act cool and tough.


Also, you will probably want some peel-and-stick tattoos. (The ones with needles hurt!) I'm guessing that guy's tattoos washed off in the pool, so please remember not to go swimming before any big rumbles or drive-bys.

Don't worry if you don't have any experience with gangs. It's not like you need a high school diploma or anything. I figure we'll start out real slow, you know, jaywalking, loitering, littering, that kind of stuff, then work our way up to more serious crimes, like 1st degree premeditated jaywalking, and cow tipping.

It would also be pretty cool if we all bought electric guitars with swords built into them and rode around on dirt bikes playing heavy metal riffs. (Ok, so I am only starting this gang to impress girls.)

Come on everybody, join my gang!


Stew Magoo said...

Oh man! I am so in. I can act both cool AND tough. In or out of a pool.

I suggest as weapons a boombox playing any speech by any member of congress. Their capacity to bore is beyond pale and it might actually cause people hearing it to spontaneously give up all their money.

This is excellent!

sackofcatfood said...

Stew, your heartless and inhuman methods will carry us far. I'll get the C-SPAN recordings right away.

Kurf said...

I'm sold on Stew Magoo, he sounds like he has real brains AND balls.

Hat said...

Ooh, I want to join! I also heartily approve of what I perceive to be a FLCL reference.