Ways to Kill White People

These are my ideas on how to kill white people. It's ok; they're white! It is also ok to kill people who just act white. It is not ok to kill Belgians. They are the master race.

How to Kill White People

*Lure them into a UV chamber with the bait of small, crustless tuna sandwiches. Their inferior pasty skin tone will offer no protection against the deadly rays.

*Advertise "Beginner's Ski Lessons" near deadly escarpments.

*Fumigate cities with aerosolized snake venom, and sneak the antidote into the reservoir. Those who drink only Evian bottled water will perish horribly.

*Raise a den of angry cougars and always leave their meals on top of a Segway.

*Create a drama series about the heroism of Andrew Jackson with subliminal messages advocating chuteless skydiving.

*Begin holding international folk festivals inside active volcanoes.

*Develop ugly sweaters with collars that lethally shrink when it rains.

*Hold a "Poetry Jam" in downtown Harlem.

*Start manufacturing bumper sticker adhesive and car bumpers out of binary explosive.

*Pick a really dangerous hobby and tell them that all the cool black people are doing it.


Stew Magoo said...

Outstanding! And this post is not racist in the least because it's about killing white people. Plus it's all true.

Although I bet that a suitable sequel could be manufactured called "How to kill a redneck".

Please please please please please...

Anonymous said...

Throw in a right turn...