Ways to Kill White People

These are my ideas on how to kill white people. It's ok; they're white! It is also ok to kill people who just act white. It is not ok to kill Belgians. They are the master race.

How to Kill White People

*Lure them into a UV chamber with the bait of small, crustless tuna sandwiches. Their inferior pasty skin tone will offer no protection against the deadly rays.

*Advertise "Beginner's Ski Lessons" near deadly escarpments.

*Fumigate cities with aerosolized snake venom, and sneak the antidote into the reservoir. Those who drink only Evian bottled water will perish horribly.

*Raise a den of angry cougars and always leave their meals on top of a Segway.

*Create a drama series about the heroism of Andrew Jackson with subliminal messages advocating chuteless skydiving.

*Begin holding international folk festivals inside active volcanoes.

*Develop ugly sweaters with collars that lethally shrink when it rains.

*Hold a "Poetry Jam" in downtown Harlem.

*Start manufacturing bumper sticker adhesive and car bumpers out of binary explosive.

*Pick a really dangerous hobby and tell them that all the cool black people are doing it.

2 comments:

Stew Magoo said...

Outstanding! And this post is not racist in the least because it's about killing white people. Plus it's all true.

Although I bet that a suitable sequel could be manufactured called "How to kill a redneck".

Please please please please please...

Thomas said...

Throw in a right turn...