These are some ways I've thought up to make juror duty a bit more entertaining for all the affiliated parties. :)
Take a dry erase board with you and set it up in the jury stand. Use tally marks to keep track of points for the prosecution and the defense.
Bring your own gavel. Use it frequently.
Wear a Pat Buchanan lapel pin (guaranteed to freak out both the defense and the prosecution).
Wear dark sunglasses and take along a walking stick and a "seeing-eye-gerbil".
Right when the trial starts, lunge up out of your seat, point at the defense,and shout "GUILTY!" at the top of your lungs.
Bring a bucket of bouncy balls. ;)
Come dressed as a clown. Apologize profusely to the judge and say you got off work late.
Bring a bottle of Arizona ice tea in brown paper bag. Take big swigs from the bag througout the trial.
Give the foreman "personal notes" to pass to the judge. Sign them with the foreman's name.
Take advantage of jury confidentiality to confess your own dastardly crimes; comment on where the defense went wrong in covering his tracks.
Remain completely silent throughout the entire trial until it's time to issue the verdict, then ask, "?Qu?? ?Podr?a usted repetir eso en espa?ol por favor?"
If you make eye contact with the defense, lull your tongue out and roll up your eyes like you're being lynched.
When the foreman asks you whether you think the defendant is guilty or innocent, flip a coin before giving him your answer.
When discussing the proceedings with your fellow jurors, relate everything that has been said to personal stories from your childhood.
Snag briefs off the prosecution's desk with a sticky hand. |
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