The story so far:
Osama bin Laden, bin Pappy, Seymoure the Camel, and their terrorists cohorts, forming a terrorist caravan, set out for Guatanomo Bay, the last place Bush would ever think to look for them. Unfortunately, Bush spotted them in New York, and, knowing no one would believe that Osama was there, formed his own band of dark-marauders to intercept their caravan. Unfortunately, Senator John Kerry, derpived of the presidency, formed his own band of marauders to stop Bush. The Osama bin terrorists utilized the opportunity to make an escape, angering Bush.
"That's it... what's your name. I tried to be reasonable, but now it's gloves off."
Bush got off his llama and rolled up his sleeves.
"Ha," John Kerry laughed, "You're on, monkey-boy!"
Kerry jumped to the ground and starting moving toward Bush. Bush didn't move. Kerry came closer. Bush stood completely still. Kerry pulled back his fist. Bush did not flinch. Kerry began to throw his punch when *WHAM* he was tackled to the ground and pummeled by Bush's dark "marauder" cohorts.
"HA HA HA HA HA!!! OH, how I LOVE having a secret service detail!"
"Now, where's that Osama bin Laden character got off to?"
* * *
"That evil Bush!" bin Laden grumbled, "With him on our case, we'll never get out of here!"
Seymoure the camel spat in agreement.
"There is only one solution," exclaimed Osama bin Pappy, "We must do a great, terroristy deed to distract him!"
"But what could we do that would distract Bush from something as key to his presidency as catching us?"
"We must attack the very heart and soul of America! That character of mirth and cheer that is the antithesis of our evil Islamist ways! We must kidnap. . . SpongeBob Squarepants! AND BEHEAD HIM!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" cried bin Laden, "Not the lovable Sponge!"
"It must be done, my Osama bin Son. Now, tell me, you know more than anyone else about this "SpongeBob Squarepants," where does he live?"
"He lives.... he lives..."
"In a pineapple... under the sea!"
* * *
Back at the DNC, Kerry is still in his marauder robes. He kneels before a shadowy figure and pulls back his hood.
"John Kerry, you have failed me."
"I know, master."
"I am sending another one in your place. A more trustworthy apprentice. If he earns my favor, he will replace you at my side."
"Yes, my master. As you command, my master."
- earth day
- green toilet
- harsh realities
- interior decorating
- white people