"Everybody's Irish - on - St. - Pat - rick's - day!" sang Bush.
"Not me, you sod! I'm Scottish!"
Dick Cheney, dressed in a kilt, growled as he played a traditional Scottish jig on his bagpipes.
"The Irish are pansies, compared to the Scotts!" he exlaimed.
"And the English are even bigger pansies!" shouted Rumsfeld.
Just then, a band of drunken Irishmen burst through the doors of the oval office.
"We be hearing of some Irish stereotypes being propagated," declared their drunken leader, as he took another swig from his bear.
"Ain't nobody stereotypes the Irish!"
* * *
Osama bin Laden yelped as yet another 3rd grader with green-sprayed hair pinched him.
"Leave me alone you little infidels!"
The children only laughed. A passerby handed him a green shamrock lapel pin.
"Here, take this. It will protect you."
Osama quickly pinned it on his chest.
"Crazy Americans," he muttered, "First Pi Day, now this. What's next? No Pants Day?"
Hmm, he thought, If I could just convince these infidels to have a "Fight Our Next War Using Only Camels and Rocks Day" that would be the perfect opportunity to strike!
As he was pondering, he ran into Osama bin Pappy. Osama bin Pappy gasped in horror.
"My wretched son! You are adopting the ways of the Great Satan!"
Osama bin Laden looked down at his green shamrock.
"Oh. Yes. Well, um... this is an "Allah is great"-rock. It only looks like an evil Western shamrock, because, um, they stole the idea from Allah."
"What!? You mean these Irish trinkets defile Allah? We must avenge his honor!"
"Uh... you see..." bin Laden started.
"Not another word!" cried bin Pappy. "We must see that these Irish-American infidels are punished!"
* * *
Dick Cheney flew out a whitehouse window. He was followed by his bagpipes.
"And let that be a lesson to ya! Onward, Pat Murphy's Brigade!"
* * *
Osama bin Laden and Osama bin Pappy were patrolling the streets of New York with Seymoure the camel, armed with explosives and a very mean camel.
"Down witht he Irish!" bin Pappy shouted.
"Yeah... and the Scotts!" shouted bin Laden.
They turned the corner and Seymoure jerked to a halt. There stood one very angry Dick Cheney in a kilt and a dozen angry Irishmen.
"Scotts too, eh?" Cheney growled.
Bin Laden gulped.
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