This is old news, but since I've been gone a while, a 10 year old girl was hand-cuffed and arrested for taking scissors to school. I'm just glad the zero-brains zero-tolerance Nazis have abandoned their 'shoot first, ask questions later' policy.

Here's a story about a moose out to obliterate laundry racks. Personally, I'm not a big fan of laundry racks either, but I guess this moose is a lot more proactive about it than I am.

A bank robber had the bright idea of writing his note to the teller on the back of his parole papers. (He was on parole for bank robbery.) You'd think these guys would, you know, pick up on a few things while they're in the slammer. Maybe I need to rethink my opposition to the federal law that requires prisons have cable. But as long as we're purposefully sabotauging the intelligence of inmates, why not just give them a labotomy? I'm sure mushing around their brains would do wonders for eliminating criminal recidivism.

Christmas trees have hit $200 in Hawaii. In other knews, igloos have hit $300 in Texas, water has hit $400 dollars in the Sahara, and coherent thoughts have hit $10,000 in Washington D.C.

Finally, Human Events has a really nasty solution to killing the intifada in Iraq. Are we really that barbaric?

Well, I am. How about you guys?