In a world abundant with information, it is only natural for people to apply certain sieves in order to sort out what information is important. For example, some people don't think it's important unless someone calls them about it. Even then, if it were really important, whoever called would have left a message. And maybe they did leave a message, but if it were an actual emergency, they would surely have left at least six or seven (increasingly incoherent) messages.
Wizard Hue, though not acquainted with the concept of the telephone, took this one step further. He applied the philosophy of, "if it was important, they certainly wouldn't have bothered mentioning it to me." And for the most part, this was true.
Wizard Hue was not, technically speaking, a wizard, although he was very well salaried for it. In fact, the Hall of Wizardry paid him an extremely comfortable 15,000 gold pieces per annum in exchange for his not practicing any magic at all. This sat very well with Wizard Hue, who had a deep inner-loathing for all things magic.
He had never wanted to be a wizard. Wizardry didn't sit right with the natural order of things. Hue had wanted to be a magician, an illusionist, a conjurer of cheap tricks available for birthdays and parties at a fairly unreasonable price.
This would all have been very well if not for the fact that he was a naturally powerful sorcerer. Powerful enough, as it happened, that it was not possible for him to perform any fake magic at all. Mutter a few ridiculous phrases just for the show if it and "*Poof!*" suddenly demons are pouring through a portal to the lower-regions wondering who their new dark master is. (It was actually fairly easy to get them to go back through the portal once they learned that it was Hue.)
When it became hopelessly apparent that he had no chance as a magician and would never again be invited to anyone's birthday, Hue reluctantly enlisted for real magical training at the Hall of Wizardry. Alas, something about his special brand of magic did not mesh well with that of other wizards. In less severe instances, instructors found themselves writing parents to inform them that their child had been mortally dismembered after summoning a very distempered butterfly.
Wizard Hue thus very naturally assumed that the magical parcel addressed to him emblazened with "EMERGENCY!!!" in very obnoxious lettering was intended for one of the actual wizards, and forwarded it on to the Hall of Wizardry, which, coincidentally, was precisely where he was heading, to pick up his annual pay.
If he had read the note addressed to him, however, he would never have set out, because that was exactly where the note wanted him to go.
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- earth day
- green toilet
- harsh realities
- interior decorating
- white people