Adventures of Philosophocles

"Alright, lady, hand over the purse!"
"Hold it right there, villain!"
From the sky dropped a figure in mask and shimmering yellow cape, garbed in bright green spandex.
"What you gonna do, freak?"
"Why, nothing, of course! There is no point, really. Our existences are vaporous whisps in the evolution of the cosmos, vanishing in but a moment. Ultimately, you, as I shall perish into nothingness and all trace of your existence shall be forever effaced from the recollection of man. It will be precisely as if you had never existed. And if that's the case, then what's to say you even now exist? Thought, existence, meaning... it's all an illusion. Just like that purse. That purse doesn't exist, it is merely a perceived a sensory impression interpreted under a pretentious illusion of personal cognition. Why are you stealing something that doesn't exist? Are you stupid?"
The masked man stared deeply into the eyes of the thief.
"Yes... yes... er, no... I mean...."
The man began to tear up.
"Just leave me alone!" he cried. The man ran away as fast as he could, but he was unable to run fast enough to escape the haunting suspicion that this act, like the rest of his life, was inconsequential and pointless.
"Here you are mamb."
"Thank you, Philosophocles!"
"All in the day's work, mamb! To transcendal revelations!"
Philosophocles raised his arms in the air and bounded off into the distance.