July 5th, 1776. A dishevelled Thomas Jefferson stumbles to his feet, pulling a pair of star spangled pantaloons off his head. He also wakes George Washington, who lays in an inverted slump in a recently emptied cistern of beer. Somewhere in the rafters, John Hancock moans miserably, then crashes down into a pile of hay.

"Ugh. . . that was quite the party."

Thomas Jefferson: "You aren't kidding. Good idea on the fireworks. Hey. . .why are there all these inkstains on my hand?"

"Don't you remember? You wrote that letter.

"What letter?"

"The one declaring independence from Britain."

"Haha, no seriously, how did I get these inkstains on my hand?"

There is awkward silence.

"Crap. Where is it."

Benjamin Franklin: "I already posted it!"

"Ben, how could you do that! We all signed our names!"

"We are so dead."

Sam Adams: "This is awful. I need some tea. Hey, where's my tea?"

"You dumped it all in the harbor."


Thomas Paine: "Don't worry guys, I can come up with a perfectly reasonable justification for all this."