July
5th, 1776. A dishevelled Thomas Jefferson stumbles to his feet, pulling
a pair of star spangled pantaloons off his head. He also wakes George
Washington, who lays in an inverted slump in a recently emptied cistern
of beer. Somewhere in the rafters, John Hancock moans miserably, then
crashes down into a pile of hay.
"Ugh. . . that was quite the party."
Thomas Jefferson: "You aren't kidding. Good idea on the fireworks. Hey. . .why are there all these inkstains on my hand?"
"Don't you remember? You wrote that letter.
"What letter?"
"The one declaring independence from Britain."
"Haha, no seriously, how did I get these inkstains on my hand?"
There is awkward silence.
"Crap. Where is it."
Benjamin Franklin: "I already posted it!"
"Ben, how could you do that! We all signed our names!"
"We are so dead."
Sam Adams: "This is awful. I need some tea. Hey, where's my tea?"
"You dumped it all in the harbor."
"HOW DRUNK WAS I?!"
Thomas Paine: "Don't worry guys, I can come up with a perfectly reasonable justification for all this."
- amputation
- bands
- bellybuttons
- biblestories
- cartoons
- cats
- cheese
- diy
- doom
- earth
- earth day
- engineering
- environment
- evil
- ewe
- ghetto
- goat
- green toilet
- gross
- harsh realities
- insects
- interior decorating
- lists
- mafia
- mccain
- monkeys
- music
- obama
- poetry
- politics
- prank
- pvc
- quotes
- selectivegrowthspurts
- shortstory
- starwars
- superhero
- terrorists
- white people
- williamcarloswilliams
- yuck
1 comments:
Historical context: http://reason.com/archives/2014/02/22/george-washington-boozehound
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